Let Them Tell Their Stories

It’s the day after Christmas and all through the house not a creature is stirring…Well, maybe just a little. Everyone fell asleep downstairs last night while watching a movie.  I brought the DVD upstairs to finish it, and feel asleep too. I think I was burned out and wasn’t feeling very well yesterday so I forced myself to say in bed this morning until almost 10:00. That hasn’t happened in years. Fortunately, the kids were very quiet this morning, no fights or outbursts. Not one little peep from the dog either. Very nice. I figured since no one is looking for me it would be a good time to catch up on some writing.

The last few days have been very interesting. I supposed I can always say that, but I mean from a people standpoint. Friday night I had dinner with an old friend that I hadn’t seen since his wife’s funeral. She passed early this year and was barely 31. I know a lot of people, and these two were the only two that I felt had a relationship such as I have with my wife. They were genuinely friends; he sincerely loved her for better or worse. And there was a lot of (medical) worse over the last 6 years. I know a lot of guys love their wife’s, but this was different, it was more. He’s seems to be doing reasonable well. We talked for hours. We talked about his work and his music and sometimes about her. We talked a lot about religion and spirituality and what’s next. He told me about some of the religious conversations that he’s had lately with other people. It was obvious that he was upset by some of them. It became very apparent once more that while words can heal people, they could just as quickly decimate the fragile grip someone may have on their reality. I listened and I asked questions and I listened some more. I offered the occasional opinion and belief, and realized that I could’ve said half, and it would have been just as effective. Sometimes it seems if you just sit still and listen to someone who needs to tell their story, that they can use you like a ladder to climb out of whatever hole they are in. I think people who have been traumatized can right themselves like a capsized kayaker as long as there is something stable around them and no one tries to “help” too much.

A few days ago I spoke to a man who just found out that he has a serious medical condition. A week ago the same man talked to me about his not speaking to his father. One of the things he remembers precipitating this situation was his father telling him that he was “worthless”.  I thought a lot about that, about worthless and useless. I thought useless isn’t so bad. A huge block of ice (it’s very cold here) would be useless to me right now.  But certainly it’s not worthless. Worthless is a word designed to do something that a man made weapon could never do, to injure the soul. To slice right into it and in someway produce a mortal would. It seems that there are a lot of people walking around with such wounds. They may be functioning at various levels of competency, but the damage is there and it will invariably show itself.  A son who fell out of favor with his father, a daughter who was supposed to be a son and is never allowed to forget it, a wife who’s trust and love were reciprocated with dishonor and deceit. A mother whose son is sent to a war zone far away. The loving husband whose wife passes at much to tender an age…. The list is endless, the pain is endless, and everywhere. The souls of this world are taking a beating everyday.

For a few years now I have wanted to start a practice where I could provide Life Coaching, Counseling, etc. I almost constantly find myself talking to or working with someone I know on their life’s issues.  I feel very satisfied when they walk away feeling better about themselves or a situation, or when they can change their perspective and see from other vantage points.  I’d like to work with people who are facing stumbling blocks that get in the way of their everyday living.  I don’t know if I’ll ever officially start my practice. But I know that I will continue to listen to all the injured souls that come my way.  I think that we all have an unlimited supply of just what it takes to repair those injured souls, compassion. Not love, not pity, not education, not ego, not anything else. Just compassion, and lots of it.

A Return to Love

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson - A Return to Love